Where do babies come from

If your child:

• is aged 4-5 years or
• knows the names of the private body parts and can point to where they are

Children in the ‘beginner’ category are more interested in where babies come from than finding out how they are made. You can keep your explanation short and simple, and add more detail if your child seems curious or confused by your answers. You may say something like:

• babies grow in a special place inside a woman’s tummy called the uterus
• the uterus protects the baby as it grows
• babies start out very small and grow for 9 months until they are ready to be born

If your child:

• is aged 5-8 years or
• knows the names of private body parts, where they are and what they do
• has a basic understanding of male and female reproductive parts

Children in the ‘intermediate learner’ category may become curious about how babies are made. You can still keep your explanations fairly simple but start to add more detail about the process of how a baby is made. You don’t need to discuss sexual intercourse at this stage, but you can add it in if you feel it is appropriate for your child’s learning. Information you might give your child can include:

• you need a special part from a man and a woman to make a baby. The part from the man is called sperm and the part from the woman is called the egg (or ovum if you prefer to use this term)
• the egg and the sperm join together in the uterus. When this happens a baby is made
• the baby grows in the uterus for 9 months until it is ready to be born.
• when the baby is ready to be born it leaves the uterus and comes out of the mum’s vagina.

If your child:

• is aged 8+ years or
• knows the names of private body parts, where they are and what they do
• has a good understanding of male and female reproductive organs
• has an understanding of different types of relationships including intimate relationships

Children in the ‘advanced or very curious’ category may start to question how the sperm gets inside the woman’s uterus. Information you might give your child can include:

• a man and woman need to have sex to make a baby
• this means that the man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina. Both people have to say yes for this to happen
• the sperm leaves the penis and goes into the vagina. It swims up the vagina into the uterus
• if the sperm finds an egg in the uterus it can join it. There isn’t always an egg in the uterus. This only happens sometimes. When the sperm and egg join a baby starts to grow

Usually when talking about how babies are made, we talk about penis-in-vagina sexual intercourse. However, not all babies are made this way. This may be the case in your family, or other families that your child knows. If so, it can be a good idea to talk to your child about the different ways that babies can enter families such as IVF, surrogacy, adoption, foster care, kinship care or grandparent care. Explain to your child that all families are different. Some children’s parents may have needed help to have a baby and that is OK. They are still a family just like other families.