Emotional changes
Intermediate concepts

Developing sexual feelings

Developing sexual feelings is a normal part of growing up.

Introduction

Developing sexual feelings is a normal part of growing up. Young people with intellectual disability and/or autism spectrum disorder will experience these feelings just like everybody else.

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Conversation Starters

I have noticed you like to play with a particular friend a lot lately. How do they make you feel?

The person in the TV show just asked that woman on a date. This is because he likes her or has sexual feelings for her. Have you ever wanted to go on a date with someone?

You have grown up so much in the last year. Look at all the changes that your body has gone through. Part of growing up is also getting new feelings, like sexual feelings. Do you know what they are?

Strategies for you to try

Reinforce private and public

Revisit private and public with your child. Remind them that touching their private body parts is a private behaviour that can only happen in a private place. You can use the private and public sorting game mentioned here Private and Public Places to go over these concepts again.

Talk about it

Talking to your child about sexual feelings including what it might feel like and why they might have them. You can use social stories and resources like the ones listed below to help you find the right words to talk to your child.

Use movies and television

Find moments in movies and television programs where the characters have a crush or sexual feelings towards someone. Use this as an opportunity to discuss all the things that character is experiencing because of their sexual feelings and what is acceptable or unacceptable behaviour.

Resources

Emotional changes

All about sex

Emotional changes

Pornography fact sheet

To read

Sexuality and relationship education for children and adolescents with autism spectrum disorders – David Hartman

Girlfriends and boyfriends: a guide to dating for people with disabilities– Terri Couwenhoven

Developing sexual feelings