Is this normal
Beginner concepts

Emotional changes – normal

Puberty brings emotional and behavioural changes as well.

Introduction

Puberty brings a lot of changes for children with intellectual disability and/or autism spectrum disorder, not just body changes but emotional and behavioural changes as well. You might be familiar with the stereotype of the moody teenager during puberty, but sometimes it can be hard to know when emotional changes are normal or require some extra support. This can be especially difficult if your child has complex communication or support needs which can impact their ability to express their need for support.

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Conversation Starters

I’ve noticed that you’re very quiet today. Can you show me on the picture board how you’re feeling?

When you get older you might want a bit more privacy or independence. Is there anything you’d like to start doing by yourself? How can I help you?

When you grow up you might start feeling a bit moody. Let’s have a look at how you can show/tell me how you’re feeling and we can try some different things to make you feel better

Strategies for you to try

Normalise the expression of emotions

Asking people to “stop crying” or “calm down” invalidates feelings. Instead, help your child to recognise what they are feeling by using tools such as emotion cards, toys, colour charts or even simple smiley/frowny faces.

Create a safe space for your child to express their emotion

This might look like a sensory space where it is safe to have a cry and self soothe or using music or art to release frustration/angry feelings. This is especially useful for children who may be non-verbal.

Model appropriate emotional reactions for your child.

It can be difficult to control your reactions and responses to emotions, but it’s important to show children what healthy responses to different emotions are. For example, reacting with a “Whoops!” when someone trips over shows that it’s not a serious injury and isn’t a cause for emotional distress. This also teaches children that while you can’t control your emotions all the time, you can control your response to emotion.

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