Feeling Good

A place for parents to find help for the siblings of kids with intellectual disability and autism.

Introduction

This page has been informed by the research and advocacy work of Siblings Australia.

Childhood comes with its ups and downs for all children. For children with a sibling with intellectual disability and/or autism, they face unique experiences that can be both positive and challenging.

Positive experiences include: 

  • Learning patience 
  • Learning to embrace diversity
  • Feelings of loyalty and purpose in being a support person for their sibling
  • Learning compassion and tolerance

Challenges may include:

  • Feelings of guilt, resentment or worry 
  • Feeling isolated from their peers
  • Feeling pressure to be perfect so that they don’t worry you
  • Grief about things their sibling cannot do
  • Feeling helpless 

Children with a sibling with intellectual disability and/or autism can feel pressure to be perfect and may put the needs of others before their own. When children sideline their own needs and deny negative feelings it can lead to low self-esteem and a sense of helplessness. For this reason, for children with a sibling with intellectual disability and/or autism, receiving support to acknowledge and express their feelings is especially important.

You can help children feel good and build the skills they need to look after their mental health, both now and into adulthood, in simple ways during daily activities, and by seeking professional mental health support.

Strategies for you to try

One-on-one time
Find time to spend one-on-one with your child; this could be while their sibling is engaged with specialists or support workers. One-on-one time doesn’t have to be a big activity, in fact little bits of time everyday are just as important.
Foster relationships
Foster relationships between your child and other trusted adults who can spend one-on-one time with them, such as aunties or old family friends.
Connections
Connect your child with others who also have a sibling with disability. These peer connections can be one of the most helpful things for wellbeing. Find out more in connection.
Communicate
Involve all your children in Planet Puberty Identifying and communicating how I feel strategies such as drawing activities and emotion charts.
Professional support
Seek professional support. Although negative feelings are normal and healthy, kids with a sibling with intellectual disability and/or autism can face significant stressors and find it difficult to seek help. Seeking professional support for mental health is as normal as going to the doctor for our physical health. Similarly to physical health, getting mental health concerns seen early is best, and mental health checkups are a good idea even if everything is ok! This is especially important for children with a sibling with intellectual disability and/or autism who may hide feelings of distress and say they are doing fine when they are not. Seeking professional support may be a priority if you notice signs of distress including:
  • children being withdrawn 
  • changes in appetite
  • changes in sleeping patterns
  • children being depressed or anxious
  • children being less interested in activities usually enjoyed
You can access professional support by calling the Mental Health Line on 1800 011 511.
Independent professional support
Let your child know how they can access professional support independently as children benefit from seeing health professionals alone for at least part of the consultation from early adolescence. You can do this by: 
      • arranging their own private, or partially private, appointment with your family GP
      • attending a Community Health Centre
      • seeing the counsellor at their school
      • providing them with the Kids Helpline number 1800 55 1800 or WebChat details 
      • Find out more about professional mental health support in resources.
 

Conversation Starters

“What was the best part of your day today? What was the worst?”
“You are a very generous and caring big/little sibling and it is ok to feel angry/annoyed/embarrassed. Can you tell me what it feels like when you feel angry/annoyed/embarrassed? What can you feel in your body?”
"In the same way that we go to a professional (doctor or nurse) to help our bodies feel better, we can also go to a professional (counsellor or therapist) to help our moods and feelings feel better. What do you think can help people with their moods and feelings?”

Explore the planet

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Introduction to puberty for girls
Feeling Good

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Welcome to lessons!

Lessons help keep you and your child on track to navigating planet puberty. We have specially curated these to help teach certain themes. Let’s have a look around to get you aquainted.

Supporting your child’s independence – Michael’s story

Did your period make you feel different? – Story

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